I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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