Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sober January is a disaster.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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