My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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