the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
