she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize