He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
