Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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