Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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