I love black thongs
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
