i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
