Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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