Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
