Sponge bath it is.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
