physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
