Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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