does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize