Grow some girl-balls and come out already
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I could fuck to npr.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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