Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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