I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
