So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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