I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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