Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
