he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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