So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
