This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
