so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
