If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
