big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
