All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
