ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
