he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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