Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize