if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hotel room ftw
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
