I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You have to summon your inner elephant
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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