This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
