He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
