Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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