p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
