Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
