he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He did a backflip because drugs
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
