i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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