I skipped work to stalk him.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize