just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
