Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
