I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just cut my nipple shaving
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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