I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
