she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
