If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize