So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.