At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
