I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
