And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
