LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
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I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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