its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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