margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
sarcasm needs its own font
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
