Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
