i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize