I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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