I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So. Much. Porn.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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