You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
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Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
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You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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