I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
