woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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