So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
