I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
