I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
