In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she smelled like a LAN party
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i've created a new STD.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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