this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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