I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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