you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
